Schools out for summer. Okay guys it’s story time. I’m bringing you way back like waaaaay. Remember the days of oversized skateboard shoes, Roxy t-shirts, the infamous side-bang?

That’s when this story takes place. 

I grew up in a pretty religious household, I’m talking no make-up, nail polish, bikini’s, colored hair, or private phone calls kinda place. Although, I was getting Brazilian waxed at the age of 15… so you figure that one out…. 

ANYWAYS. Summers were spent at a small local bible camp. Only this was not your typical bible camp. Well it was, but for me it was the best thing I had going on for years. This was what I looked forward to allllll year. Why you ask? I was a fucking star at bible camp.

It was like God decided to gift me for 1 week of the year to make up for the other 51 weeks of hell. I’d walk into camp strutting my stuff in my Etnies shoes, hair stick straight, knowing that this was my time. 

It’s Lizzie bitch. As soon as my mom left I’d run straight to the bathroom pull out my stick of kohl eyeliner and went to town. I put the Olsen twins to shame. 

Summer camp was fun. Ya part of me was there because of the boys but mostly it was because I felt strong. Finally, I was a “cool girl” and my normal self-consciousness went away. I loved the wide games and was blessed with some serious speed even if my legs resembled that of a new born deer. The food was delicious. I never worried about what I was eating, if it was too much, and gladly threw elbows to get in line for seconds.

I had about 4 camp crushes throughout the week. I didn’t discriminate. Short, tall, blonde, brunette, hell I think I even had a girl crush at one point. Confusing times, people. The counselors were not left out of my bizarre affections, and once or twice I paid Kevin from cabin 7 a little too much attention.  YOLO 

Camp was amazing. Minus the one year when my mom sent me to the all girl’s camp which needless to say was fucking awful. Let’s just say I got extra prayers that summer….Too many periods too little Tylenol. If you haven’t gathered by now, I was hella innocent as a young teen. Didn’t touch a drop of alcohol until I was 17, first kiss was the same year, and sex? that would be many years later….. Innocent and awkward don’t make an easy pairing. 

Being a fucking weirdo…I literally made “business cards” one year that had my Hotmail address ( on ripped out notebook paper to hand out to my new besties. You know, so we could write through the year! I decorated them in glitter pens and Lisa Frank stickers. This actually happened.

I found a website called and got a maaaassive hoodie that said Christian Girl in handwritten font and wore that baby proud.

One of my fondest memories was during my first year of Jr.High camp so I’m probably around 12 or 13… I would be going into Grade 7. I was sitting on the benches with the “older kids” feeling fly. One of the boys, who I’d learn was satan reincarnated, asked me “hey pinky, if you didn’t have feet would you still wear shoes?” Thinking this was a real question, maybe a lateral thinking puzzle, I took my time answering until he finally blurted out “then why do you wear a bra?!?!/”…… oooooh sick burn bro.I didn’t get it. Because… I in fact, was NOT wearing a bra. Someone filled me in later. So next summer, I came prepared with the LaSenza Bombshell 2 sizes bigger monstrosity.. taking me from an AAA to a solid A. Go big or go home. 

(Guess who….)

Camp you rock. Don’t ever change

.Have you ever been to summer camp? Did you love it! Or despise every minute of it? What about band camp?… now that sounds fun.