Bon Voyage Mo Fo’s. I am in Jordan for a week of fun, sun, dead sea baths, and ancient ruins. I’m going to be really honest and say that this isn’t my ideal kind of trip. I’ve been in the Middle East for toooo long and every country looks the same. There I said it.

Dubai is the only damn place that isn’t dirty and smelly. Why? Because Dubai is fake AF.

Jordan? I was convinced it would be like Lebanon, Kuwait, Bahrain, Egypt etc.

I headed here with Mr.C , who despite being a cripple due to a recent knee surgery, thought hiking Petra would be a swell idea. I think Moses lived around there, or was it Jesus? Because if it’s good enough for Jesus, then it’s good enough for me.

I was pleasantly surprised that the flight from Kuwait is only 2 hours. AL HAMDALLLAH.

But as soon as we landed things didn’t remain so pleasant.

40 Jordanian Dollars to enter the country. Okay not so bad, whatever.

Car rental? Not the smoothest. car had cigarette burns on the seats and questionable stains. But again, I’m staying positive.

We began our 4 hour drive from Amman to Aqaba. ROAD TRIP BITCHES! I pre loaded a few podcasts (Criminal and Guys We Fu$%d) brought peanut MnM’s and I was ready to go. Well not even one hour into the drive, I witnessed a group of kids viciously beating a dog on the side of the road. Horrific and disgusting, what could make it even worse? Only 50km later, and another group of kids is throwing rocks at another damn dog. I wish I was making this shit up, and that this post didn’t start off so grim, but I’m not being paid by the Jordan Tourism board so I’m going to be as real as possible. I promised full transparency, remember? (link here)

One speeding ticket later and we reached our final destination. The Kempinski Hotel, Aqaba.

The number one resort in Aqaba with a killer reputation. I’m thinking things can only go up from here and boy oh boy was I right. Gorgeous views of the Red Sea, lush bath robes, and a free mini bar? SIGN ME UP.

Stay tuned for more on Jordan. Think ancient ruins, mud baths, and a whole lot of complaining about my sunburns.


Have you ever been to Jordan? Any tips or things to see? Or if not, any plans to go see where Moses parted the sea?? SEE what I did there?